Track from original Antimatter demo. Recorded, engineered and mixed by Duncan Patterson 1998, Wakefield

Angel cried last night; it was something in her dreams,
Carving pictures on her bedroom wall, she wonders what it means,
But gets by inside by saying it's not real,
There's no reason to confuse myself no matter what it seems.
Angel lied last night to amputate her fears,
With no question she exhumes herself from possibilities.
Close your eyes it's fine by saying it's not real,
There's no reason to forgive myself no matter what it seems.
And if I could grow some wings I'd fly away home...
				

Original demo Recorded, engineered and mixed by Mick Moss 2002, Liverpool

I'm building a cage to chew things over, far from where the rats can chew my brain
Losing the game and the deck's uneven - the building blocks of ruin

I'm going insane with my eyes wide open, the stage has set the tone
Chewing the pain and it won't stop breeding - it moves from square to square

I've pushed my field, now it comes to this
I've touched my dreams but still I bleed ...
				

Acoustic version from Lights Out sessions. Engineered by Jamie Cavanagh. Mixed by Mick Moss Dublin 2003

What a big man you are - could fight a war with just your face
Take it on the chin and leave me open jawed

What big words you've got - reciting lines you've heard on film
Could write a script with just your lust for 'respect'

Rip off this face - it can't persist
Like shadows in the rain, undefined lines, a symphony muted and greying -
You're not real and neither are your goals.
				

Unreleased track from Live@K13. Recorded live, Lille, France, October 2002

One common, subterranean destination
One life, another day
A vestal child unveiled by temptation
Innocence slips away

Far away

Been down so long
Too deep the water that I tread
Sometimes I feel myself going under
Sometimes I envy the dead

So take me far away
				

Track from original Antimatter demo. Recorded, engineered and mixed by Duncan Patterson 1998, Wakefield

Cautiously take cover in the woodland - no mistakes at all.
Some terrain will catch you at your weakest - careful not to fall.
Stay by the fire, sip from your water, lie in position, the winds blowing
colder.
All these conditions will keep you from dying as long as you're looking over
your shoulder.
Stay aware of echoes in the moonlight careful not to call.
Don't engage in any kind of dreaming, conscious through it all.
If in doubt find space beside a river, careful not to drown.
Stick it out, there's hope on the horizon - keep from going down.
				

Unreleased track from Live@K13. Recorded live, Lille, France, October 2002

I had a dream, far away from here,
Far away from you, far from all the pain.
With strength in numbers, the sad betrayal braves,
Return to desecrate those memories again.
And there you were taking flowers from my grave ...
I kiss the ground but I can hardly breathe,
As you scrape me from the pavement once again.
Safety in numbers, you thought I'd washed away,
But I'm still waiting for the rain...
				

Track from original Antimatter demo. Recorded, engineered and mixed by Duncan Patterson 1998, Wakefield

Who hears the voices calling - who calls to rise above them?
Who rises when they've fallen, taking an oath for the trouble they're causing.
Who reaches out for knowing, who knows when they've been chosen?
Who chooses not to burden the path of the brother with light before him.
Saviour...
Who lives a life of slumber, who sleeps upon the water?
Whos water drowns the others, taking an oath for the trouble they're causing.
Who asks a simple question, who knows when who's forgiven?
Who chooses whose redemption?
				

Remix by Duncan Patterson, Ireland 2003

Take me with you when you go, I'm not staying here alone,
Push the button by the phone...
Inner freedom overshadows greed and reasons to stick around,
Crazy dreaming keeps me gleaming you'll be seething going down.
I'd waited so long, but the dream was over before it had begun,
I've waited so long, now you haven't time to run...
				

Live version recorded in Germany, November 2003

I looked to the skies, turning away with blackened eyes.
Im a stranger on a train, you're all strangers on a train.

Sorry to confuse you, but all that you know is wrong
There's just no name for what's gone on.

I've walked on thin ice just to feel mystified,
As we spin through outer space.....

Sorry to confuse you, but all that you know is wrong
There's just no name for what's gone ...
				

Live version recorded in Germany, November 2003

I was not put here by anyone in fear
I came alone as me
Just an idea in a long chain of discovery
Surrounded by the same you

Sometimes your tide pulls me out to sea
And I die in a thrashing curse
Sometimes we are kind
More often, I doze
So far up the beach that those who try to reach are burnt alive in the searing
heat of the desert of my dispassion
So far removed, I never hear the water
'Cept once or twice a month when I see a mirror

And I refuse to believe in some of the things that are said to be here
Let alone those that are not
I'm trying to change my direction
Ours is pathetic in my own humble estimation

I love the planet
The great benign she-wolf
Benefactor
Spinning gently on towards the red giant four aeons hence
When all the rose gardens are consumed in the flash-fire of flying time
She'll leave alone to you


When you look at me
From your own century
I may seem to be
Strange archeology
But when the winds blow
From this direction
You may sense me there
In your reflection
I think I feel you
But I will never know
As the swallows leave
And the children grow

I wanted to live forever
The same is you will too
I wanted to live forever
And everybody knew

When I caught you there
In tomorrows mirror
I thought felt you
Jump out of my skin
Throwing oil into
My blazing memories
Filling empty footsteps
I was standing in

I wanted to live forever
The same as you will too
I wanted to live forever
And everybody knew

As the falling rain
Of the northern jungle
Hanging droplets on the leaves
Bombards my brain
I hear you
Across the room
A sea of daffodils spring into bloom
You are the mist
The frost across my window pane
And again

She moves her body
And her whispers weave
And the world spins
And tells me that I'll never want to leave

As I think of you
From this dark century
I will always be
With generosity
That we both may share
The hope in hearing
That we're not just
Spirits disappearing
				

Original demo Recorded, engineered and mixed by Mick Moss 2002, Liverpool

Immersed in light, broken in flight
Here comes that scene again, not another sleepless night
Scripted yet stuck on every line ...
Upon my face a look of pure surprise - I thought I'd be fighting fire

How it's changed from my dream,
Did I stray from the path laid out for me?
How it's changed, did I fail in some way?

Easy to plot a course divine
A simple graph can colour every line, and I dont see what I dont know
Some truths are harder to percieve ...
The colour has been drained now from my eyes - staring into endless time
				

Unreleased track from Live@K13. Recorded live, Lille, France, October 2002

I've feeling I may not be coming down from this,
 I was searching through the heavens and somehow I slipped,

 I feel, I'm seeing so clear

 Trying to forget tomorrow and all that's happened,
 This is not the way, the way I was meant to be.

 I feel, I'm seeing so clear,
 I thought I was never going to die.
 I feel, I'm seeing so clear,
 We need more time.

 Slipping away, I think I'm gonna crack,
 Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut.

 I feel, I'm seeing so clear,
 I thought I was never coming back,

 I've been down for awhile,
 And now I'm coming back...
				

Acoustic version from Lights Out sessions. Engineered by Jamie Cavanagh. Mixed by Mick Moss Dublin 2003

I'm building a cage to chew things over, far from where the rats can chew my brain
Losing the game and the deck's uneven - the building blocks of ruin

I'm going insane with my eyes wide open, the stage has set the tone
Chewing the pain and it won't stop breeding - it moves from square to square

I've pushed my field, now it comes to this
I've touched my dreams but still I bleed ...
				

Live version recorded in Germany, November 2003.

MURDER!
Man of Fire!
MURDER!
I've seen the eyes of living Death.
It's descending, survival,
the great mass [lay-a-] awaiting [gain],

Dave:["great mass lay-waiting game"]
Bud:[Why is the great mass awaiting "game"?]

embalmed, prayerful,
dying in fear of pain!

All sense of FREEDOM gone!

Black Sun...
in a white world...
Like having a black son
in a white world.

I have a son!
His name is [Ethan]
It's his birthright...
beyond the strange light.

Dave:[* is Ethan a biblical name?]

Bud:[I too thought it sounded a bit like "EE-thin," but
I am not sure of the significanse or the meaning...
"Ethan" is not a biblical name as far as I am aware.]

Give me 69 years
and a season in this hell
Bud:[possibly "another season in this hell"]

there's all sex and death
as far as eyes can tell.

Like Prometheus we are bound
chained to this rock
of a brave new world
our [god forsaken lost].

And I have a fear,
it's all we ever needed to know.
So, worlds end and the seas run cold!

Give me 69 years
and the season in this hell
there's all sex and death
in Mother Nature's plans.

Like Prometheus, we are bound
chained to this rock
of a brave new world
our god, forsaken, lost.
				

Unreleased track from Live@K13. Recorded live, Lille, France, October 2002

I've got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in.
When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in.
I got elastic bands keepin my shoes on.
Got those swollen hand blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from.
I've got electric light.
And I've got second sight.
And amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There'll be nobody home.
I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm.
And the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got a silver spoon on a chain.
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.
I've got wild staring eyes.
And I've got a strong urge to fly.
But I got nowhere to fly to.
Ooooh, Babe when I pick up the phone
				

New version recorded especially for this compilation. Recorded, engineered and mixed by Duncan Patterson Dec 2003, Ireland

Life has betrayed me once again,
 I accept that some things will never change.
 I've let your tiny minds magnify my agony,
 and it's left me with a chem'cal dependency for sanity.

 Yes, I am falling... how much longer till I hit the ground?
 I can't tell you why I'm breaking down.
 Do you wonder why I prefer to be alone?
 Have I really lost control?

 I'm coming to en end,
 I've realised what I could have been.
 I can't sleep so I take a breath and hide behind my bravest mask,
 I admit I've lost control.