Billy couldn't read or write
He never read a book in his life
He looked like shit
Face didn't fit
And only ever went out at night

Billy got invited to parties
He'd always dress to annoy
Billy fancied his chances
And they called him an arrogant boy

Billy had a special trick
He knew what made the punters tick
Freakin' the elite
To a fit of pique
Good old Billy lived by his wits

Billy didn't have a choice
Got buried underneath the noise
He took a deep breath
Found his voice
And they called him an arrogant boy

Oh, Billy
Oh, Billy
Oh, what have you done?
Oh, Billy, what have you done?

Well, Billy gonna take on the world
Now he's getting hard to destroy
He gave us strength
And now we're walking
In the path of an arrogant boy

Billy lived his life in the dirt
Didn't really give a squirt
He'd be standing there
Head in the air
Well, Billy, salt of the earth

Billy used to dream all day
How to get there in his own sweet way
He took his time
And then enjoyed
The reputation of an arrogant boy
Oh, an arrogant boy
				

My lover crossed the river
And that's the route she chose
Heard you can get anything you want
When you go where anything goes
She made her way to Diablo
The most dangerous place on Earth
But my girl didn't care too much about that
She was there to prove her worth

She jumped into the fighting pit
Her knuckles pickled in brine
Beat up Guts Mackenzie
Celebrated with a bucket of wine
She fell into the glitter pool
Got whisky in her ear
In the nick of time was rescued
By a passing gondolier

For once in your life
Why don't you
Throw away all of those plans
Hands over your eyes
Leap out of the fire
Into the pan

My lover came back home
With two sore tits and a gappy-tooth smile
Displayed her belt in the hardware store
Told the story of her trial
If you ever go to Diablo
In the lower depths of Hell
And live your life in one short week
And return with a tale to tell

Whoo, yeah-yeah
Aw-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-ah-bow-bow
				

I live a life
Of outrageous extravagance
From way up here
Show my talent and elegance
I have some weird peccadillos
Stick 'em on the rider

When I arrive
I want some heel-clickers
After my doughnut
A couple of lip-lickers
Moisturise them both
Then slap 'em on the rider

Woe is me
I'll let you know when I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Without a brace of
Super hot psycho-ologists
Cover my back
With a sincere apologist
And where's the Dom?
I know I wrote it in the rider

Take me up in a
Private elevator
And don't forget to book a
Bliss appropriator
What happened to the last guy
Check it in the rider

Woe is me
You'll never know when I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Keep 'em waiting
While I prefer to stay
Catch a live performance
Just for me, Cirque du Soleil

Woe is me
I'll let you know
When I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Don't call me precious
Priceless is just fine
I'm worth even more
In this here swollen head of mine

Before I dance, get my
Poddy-macologist
I got bumps now
Where's my phrenologist
I'm off to the Funny Farm
It's all there in the rider
				

There was a time I liked him, now I don't know what to say
When I see him coming, I just look the other way
Ah, he's dangerous
There's a sparkle in his eyes when they should be dull and grey
Oh

He's got an air of confidence, goes out on his own
Has a very few friends and doesn't use a phone
Ah, mysterious
Thank God the law is watching, now they'll drag him from his home
Oh, oh

Once he was a lovely lad, compliant and tame
Something must've happened to turn him insane
He lost his way, and now he's full-grown
He's a lunatic with a mind of his own

Once he was a lovely lad, compliant and tame
Something must've happened to turn him insane
He lost his way, and now he's full-grown
He's a lunatic with a mind of his own

It's not as if he barks under a waxing gibbous moon
It's another kind of madness, same old words, a different tune
Ah, it's scary
Not long before the Ministry is bursting his balloon
Oh, oh
				

I have the presidential suite
In Joe's Motel over there
Joe's long gone incidentally
Along with everyone else

Even the gypsies have left
With everything they could carry, of course
They took all they need
Except for a clapped-out, knock-kneed, bony, old horse

Now, I've got the place to myself
I stand and look around
At this home that fell from the sky for me
And the only horse in town

So, I look at the horse, and he looks at me
I can tell we have an understanding almost immediately

We have been through the mill
Last few years, have been grinding uphill
Now we found some hay in the barn
And pure clean water down in the well

Now the cold wind's blowing somewhere else
We be safe and sound
In the last place on earth for me
And the only horse in town

We got nothing to hang on the wall
And that's better than nothing at all

I'm in the bar contemplating
And he's outside at the rail
Simply waiting
And swishing his tail

We don't need any more
Tell the truth that was always the case
But now we live in a world of our own
We can do what we want at our own sweet pace

And now there's no more misery
We're close to the ground
With a life of luxury for me
And the only horse in town
Yes, I have a home to call my own
I stand and look around
It's the last place on earth for me
And the only horse in town
				

I pished into the mist and saw two gnarled and craggy men
They were battle scarred and weary, they'll never fight again
Once raw and bitter enemies, these fearsome Highland lords
They've done with all the feuding, and put away their swords

A holy stone on sacred land
A legend in the glen of Creag an Tuirc

They placed their weapons on the ground, set them softly in the moss
One upon the other, chipped and laid across
The futile bloody memories of all o' that and more
Those brave and ancient clansmen had done with making war

A holy stone on sacred land
Buried in the glen of Creag an Tuirc

In the day, it was man to man
Eye to eye and hand to hand
Die with honour or live with heart
Every man stood up to play his part

A skirling whiff of danger brought a glint into their eyes
Marauders and intruders, the old men slowly rise
With claymores at the ready, they'll no' be having that
Once again they will be fighting, but now it's back-to-back

A holy stone on sacred land
Forever in the glen of Creag an Tuirc
				

I sit alone
In the night
And I know
It's gonna be alright
So when the morning hurries shadows away
From the sky
And then the rays keep my demons at bay

I sit and wait
In the dark
And I say to me
"Here comes the best part"
It's a new day
It's a new day

Then I follow the light and the heavenly voice
Of my angel sings
Now I'm feeling the dawn of her pulse
And I rise to the beating of wings

I'm looking up
At the nightscape
As the stars
Begin to fade
It takes only one
Only one
To put all the rest
In the shade
Only one
Only one

I'll be wondering where you'll be sleeping tonight
Way out there in Saturnian rings
I'll be losing my way once again
Till I rise to the beating of wings

In the candle's flickering light
I can see so clearly
All the dreams that might come true
And if not true, then nearly

Then I follow the light and the heavenly voice
As my angel sings
Now I'm feeling the dawn of her pulse
And I rise to the beating of wings

I'll be wondering where you'll be sleeping tonight
Way out there in Saturnian rings
I'll be losing my way once again
Till I rise to the beating of wings
				

I had a quarter million of the most fabulous years
Took most of my life for me to find the right gear
And now we're celebratin' to a sudden halt
We got terminal velocity and it's all my fault

Oh, dearie, me
It's a crying shame
I'm guilt trippin'
In the outside lane

I did what I could, I tried to slam on the brakes
I can't find the strength, didn't have what it takes
I hear thunder, an avalanche wall
Apologise, it's all my fault

Oh, what a shame
If only I'd known
I'm guilt trippin'
On the last train home

They say two's company and eight billion's a crowd
I'll get it right next time, but it's too late now
All those locusts, famine and war
You never slept at night, it's all my fault
				

I haven't got a clue what you've been talkin' about
Your lips move, but I hear gobbledygook
Don't have a notion, what you saying
Ah, you one a them
Sesquipedalians, yeah

I'm scriblin' gib'rish back at you
Nothing but gib'rish
If only you knew

Another crappy matrix I can't understand
I'll prove I'm human, show you I'm a man
Can't see those traffic lights, greasy bikes or steps
Any more of that and I will wring your bloody neck

I'm scriblin' gib'rish just for you
Nothing but gib'rish
Snookerakachoo

I'm a sophisticated man
With the emphasis on fist
Here's your final warning
To cease and desist
Go wash your mouth
You are speaking in tongues
Now you're talking turkey
I ain't getting any younger

I'm scriblin' gib'rish just for you
Nothing but gib'rish
If only you knew
Hoosanackamackerel
Schwanamagoo
Bend over backwards until it turns blue
				

Ah, welcome to the hallowed inner circles o' Jessica's bra
Since you're askin', that's a typo on a sign above the bar
Big Mary is a-wrestlin' with her conscience and a toe
She's a champion at both, a flick of her hips and over you go
There's a fella in the corner sippin' water through a straw
We'll keep an eye on him, just to be absolutely sure

It's somewhere to escape from the unpleasantries of life
A chance to get away from all the trouble and the strife
Nelson's falling over while he's lying down
We all respect his talent so we'll leave him there for now
And the fella in the corner sipping water through a straw
He's completely motionless, what the hell's he waiting for?

Mr Bland's an issue solver from the ministry of grey
Commissioned by a caring team to turn up every day
We're all helping with the gravity, make sure it never fails
With bawdy camaraderie and flagons of Tumbling Ale

A tweedy bird from Berkshire is looking for some rough
Sidles up to Bailey, who is more than rough enough
And now the vicar's daughter's doing hand-stands up the wall
The boys reach out to grab her before she takes a fall
And if you want to know what happened to the funny little fella
He's being educated at a session in the cellar

And should you still be wondrin' where on Earth you are
Tell your friends you're having the time of your life, heh, in Jessica's bra
In Jessica's Bra, wow
				

You got me on the third call
I wasn't gonna answer at all
But I guessed it was you
So it didn't ring true
Hmm

You know I was curious
And kinda nervous too
It was quiet at first
Then you said a few words
Something I heard
In the breath of your voice
And then I had no choice

Girl, right away I knew
As I soaked up the essence of you
Should have been impossible
But there it was a full
And total surrender

I lost my mind again
How easily you muddy my brain
You know what they say
It's never the same
The last time was nothing but
Pleasure and pain
Remind myself of one little thing
I'm gonna melt
You're so damned hot
Baby, you don't know what you got

So you got me on the third call
We know it's purely physical
There's no time for subtle
It's all sweat and muscle
We'll be together
Forever and oh well

Then we go our own ways
Not so much as a parting wave
Our love is on hold
Until the next call

Forget the first two
Because just like you
I don't have much to talk about
All we do is scream and shout
All we do is scream and shout
				

What you doing Wednesday?
If you've got nothing on
Drop by, and we'll start working on a plot
Just take a look around
Use your imagination
It's easy to improve on what we got
I got a half-written script
Catering and lights
A shed-load of cameras and a crew
I got costumes, make-up, and a double-wide trailer
Now all I really need is you

All right, you know I'm on fire

You wanna be in my new movie
It'll be great piece of work
That's it, my new movie
We'll make the sequel first
It can only get worse

You are notorious for battering down doors
And charging upstream against the trend
But that's what I want
It's gonna be rough in the making
But man, we gonna get there in the end
I'm gonna screw all the rules, break with convention
Shake it, and watch it bear fruit
With a jaw-dropping, mind-blowing mother of a movie
Man, we getting ready to shoot, uh-huh
Oh, come on, baby

You wanna be in my new movie
I need quiet on the set
I said my new movie
You wanna place your bets, ah
You ain't seen nothin' yet

Well, my new movie
We gonna stop the world
My incredible, new movie
We gonna give it a whirl
My new movie
It's gonna be a blast
I said my new movie, oh
The image will last, the image will last, the image will last
Forever
				

I lit up the wrong end, set my rocket in reverse
Blasted a hole through the center of the universe
I had a good spin around in a sycamore plane
Nothing much to see out here 'cept a whole lotta more o' the same
Oops

Well, that's enough o' that, we'll be standing here all day
Let the cat out the bag, all kinds of hell to pay
Movin' along, running easy and free
Back in the groove, don't worry 'bout me, I'm gonna bark up another tree
Oops

I look into the future as we splat against the screen
It's better than I hoped, and up to now was unforeseen
A metamorphosis, I'm hoping for much more of this
And maybe somethin' funky in between

I look into the future as we splat against the wall
Leave this all behind and soon we won't be here at all
We goin' metaphysical, whimsical and spiritual
Won't need that sycamore no more