[Intrumental]
				

In the depths where I dwell
It is black and it's cold
And the tick of the clock marks my time.

Arcing light above me
The fluorescence flickers
And casts shadows on me like a crime.

Here I lie, a prisoner, an insect in the amber
And the agony I felt just an echo
Presentiment of something else invades my mind with frozen
Clarity, yet has no place to go.

I look down at my feet
One's gone
Who performed this feat?
One's gone

Contraption, it has seized me
I cannot escape from the filth
And the flesh that is scattered all round.

In the soil, the blood has seeped, I'm haltered in this chamber
And my foot is part of me yet not it seems
It has it's own cognition and it glowers in my face but
Resolute, no answers only dreams.

Why can't
I recall the past?
How long
Is this going to last?

And there in sharp relief
The cables they will sing
Then hum in disbelief
The cables they will sing

Tubes run along the floor
Cold to my veins they bring
I can't take much more
Cold to my veins they bring

Depths where I dwell....
My eyes follow the cording
Its torturous path leads
Clock marks my time...
				

Sleeping fitful, time passed like a ghost
Neither lie nor standing in my stars
Metal cannulae, frigid connect
Apparatus drain me, my mind chars.

It's cold.
Niche fills with ugly noises.
They told
Secrets leach from behind the walls.

Speaking rigid, no-one hears my cry
Neither scream nor whisper makes much sense

It grows
I know I'm not alone.

It flows
I know I'm not alone.

Fragile messages, I cannot think
Now no longer want to, get thee hence!

And it's the lifting of my head
Proves to me I am not dead
Is that such a blessing?
And I know I'll never leave
About that I cannot grieve
Believe
I stare skywards'

Hanging forearm, I ask if it's mine
Pendulous and brooding, danger-mired
Sinking dizzy, I shrink from its tine
Then a motion stills me, from behind.

It says
Your pain has just begun
Delays
Our plan for you at its dawn
				

Deepest night again?
Glued in recline
I know that now the narcotic recedes
Now I have to think.
I have to know the genesis
And why I am so bloodied
Movement is useless, and so is the squalling

I must free me from confinement
Wrench out these benumbed ducts
I have to depart from
This hiemal alcove
Before my mind self-destructs

Deepest night again?
Fastened to this chair
I reason that the chance to leave stalls
Quick! Before it abates.
Will there be an exit?
Where should or could I go?

Find what freedom costs me
Buried in the dirt
Else the tubes will swallow me
Smother me in hurt.
Find what freedom costs me
Escape is the goal now
Buried in the dirt
I'll crawl if I have to
Else tubes will swallow me
Now I have to live!
Smother me in hurt.

But then the seat betrays me
Rocking to and fro
It squeals out in protest
The earth looks inviting
Yes I know I must go.
Yet I know I must go.

Find what freedom costs me
Buried in the dirt
Else the tubes will swallow me
Smother me in hurt.
				

Scream wild, scream wild,
Never will I be reconciled
Scream wild, scream wild
Although no sound comes out

Soon
As I hit floor
Can take no more
A dazzling light incises
New
It is to me
And I can't see
So good are its disguises

Now sounds familiar'baft me
My leg is gone for sure
The blood it pools around me
Tendons and cartilage tore

Gripped
About my head
The pain and dread
The light is burning, burning, burning
New
Drugs flow to me
And I can't breathe
Reality I'm spurning, spurning, spurning

The madness of another
Has come to torment me
A face I think I know hangs
Why won't you let me be?
				

The false peace it returns now
Bizarre becomes mundane
Tripartite of my form
Is an image of the sane

Whose face was that?

And floating in the bright murk
A hypnagogic hop
Dimension collapse inwards
Till I beg Mobius to stop.

Whose face was that?

The butchery, it's plain to see, is too much for my mind
To cease to be, now clear to me
The butchery, it's plain to see, is too much for my mind
To cease to be....
Would be them being kind?

Whose face was that?

The stench osmosed in the air
Grotesque immures my nares
The sickness it should bring
Just simply is not there
Though begging for my death is
A hypnagogic hop
Deadening brain cells failing
The drugs seep drop by drop.
				

The pain in me it sharpens
I am not strong enough
The hope for me is barren
I am not strong enough

The sheer of flesh rips me
I am not strong enough
They do not even drug me
I am not strong enough!

The whine of the saw changes
I am not strong enough
The hit on bone deranges
I am not strong enough'

The drip I know is my blood
I am not strong enough
Then into blackness I scud
I am not strong enough!

Now I'm blind, my eyes I know they've bound
The saw sinks deeper, now I know I'm drowned

Excision? Excision!

The pain in me...

The hope for me..
Excision!
				

And sometime later I came to
Not knowing what else I should do
Blood still flows from twitching limbs
What will this new awakening bring?
What is this short straw that I drew?

My amputees before my eyes
Dance and then I realise
Mad and morbid puppets leer
And my body held so dear
Now in pieces does cavort
Should this hope I now abort?

So can I hold on?
It's the dance of blood
To this hope I spawn
It's the dance of blood

The vibrance of each body part
Makes attack on hope-rampart
All I own now is my chest
Thigh and forearm is the rest
Gangrenous but with life impart

So can I hold on?
It's the dance of blood
To this hope I spawn
It's the dance of blood
In the face of death
It's the dance of blood
Till my dying breath?

Dying...dying...breath...
				

And I Have been brought to this place
For pain Again.
And the cables
Replacing body-sprigs
My bane.

The drugs quieten
My veins pulse red
Weaker fighting
Will not give in
My hope's not fled

This is just magic
I will wake up
See through the trickery
I feel this fervidly
What other options
Can I have now?
This is just magic
Let me wake up please'

And then
I did feel whole once more
Intact.
Not wracked.
But they're phantoms
Illusions than unman
Detract.

This is just magic
I will wake up
See through the trickery
I feel this fervidly
What other options
Can I have now?
This is just magic
Let me wake up please'

Abomination
Masterpieces
Flesh in clusters
Will not give in
I'll have release

How long
Have I been pinned right here
How far
The scar.
It breathes for me Genetic construct
Steel spar

The moments pass by
Will not give in
Last chance to view me
Till I'm spun back
Real origin.

intact...not wracked....
				

Deep in the chair where I resided
There are dried blood patches of my long-past sufferings
Then a shaky film comes into view
And the machine that I'm inside lights up, obliging
How can I be part of all this evil?
I'm the dancer, gleeful, in a lab of my own making
Then the drug-free truth slams into me
I'm the madman that visited this on me, conniving

No!
How can I cope
With the ramifications of this whole revelation?
The moment of realisation
Is as fogged and moonless as a night so Stygian

Just another lunatic, just another genius
Just another mocked
For having such a vision.
Just another thought with just another outcome
Just another dare
To enact this experiment
Just another bedlamite with ideas astray
Just another raver, but what a price to pay!

I watch helpless while the first injection
Wracks my veins with the metal of a deranged purpose
Crimson are the droplets in my view
As the machine plays back to me what is in its auspice
I will relive these actions now forever
I'm immobile, fretful, metallic, wiser and ageless
The death I crave will never come to me
I'm the architect, fusible consequence