She : "Dear diary it's so stupid" * Tears of fear coruscated my face * Tears of joy course the length of my days * Tainted blood tracks in my veins * Bleak sadness, he will come soon * Will I ever be * Truly wholly free * Of this agony? * It's not left me, this blood of mine today * What would you think of me, Mother, if I should say * (If you should learn about my stains?) * I can see your face, blackened with rage Twisted in hatred (denying the cage I have wrought.) * My bliss drains... * I wish I could say how I became this way! * Stark fear * He will come * Now I want it * Now I sense him * Is he the one? Mother there are dark rings under your eyes * Your hand raised to slap as you realise * I wish I could say * It would be okay. * She (about her diary) : "...He (the embryon) thinks your a therapy...". 
				

I spy him through the old mirror * Strange this, then, to me * Face to face, it's him that I could see * This was too much! * My eyes clouded, darker, further * Face in my hands * Hands that would not dam * Tears that burned. * I will not magnify his image * I wish I was still yet a child! 
				

Now I am sure someone else is inside me * Foetus: "...my brain I suppose?"

*I search for him with all of my soul * Surely my image is all he can see

*As I speak of him all the time. * He speaks to me with the tie that binds

* His soft molten voice in my head * Reverberates throughout the walls of my mind * Storms my heart with its gentle song * My mother is going to kill me... * I would too if I was in her place * She would not know what else to do. * She (writing on her diary) : * "...is another way to love me..."

*he faceless ones who dole out pain * Disguised in the pill we take as "life"

My soul entrapped, I strain again *To free it from their torturous grind.

Foetus : "....my brain I suppose.?.?.. 
				

Sex at night with nameless boys must go * They hurt me with their promises

* Like their names, their words are dust * And left me bleeding in the street. * I lie where no-one's been before * Away from tawdry rooms and alleys * Secure in knowing he is there * To stay with me forever. 
				

Sixteen years since I've been home * And now I'll never leave This edict given, cast in stone * My universe is cubed, deceived.... Obscurity's the cloak I wear * Six faces of my room will bear * Witness to three by three by three * All that they are I'll never be. * My cube is glued to many more * I see them fade towards horizon * And in each one a soul is stored * Grieving, peaceless isolation * Human geometry, irreconciled * The jigsaw of a giant child * That keeps to rules of five and three * And keep complete for all to see. * The faces of my cube become me * Loneliness is symmetry * No self-volition : I have to see Myself reflected to the power of three. * All hope is gone now, as if never had been * Multispace turns silently vertiginous * Parasite and paradise, my new hostfeeds * And I listen, despairingly bilious. * I twist in a helix : my destiny bound * My will not my own, through true clarity found * His coming is imminent: he speaks to me * The pain is inevitable before he can be. * Mindflash of mother * Sadness a lether * Situations snafu* * Sensation of déjà vu... * (* situation normal all fucked up). 
				

Pain confines me to bed. * To look beyond the angles * Of this cube not a factor * It's partition a cage in my head. * I feel I'm afloat in my cell * Held by a force that subsumes * I'm stretched till I break * Is it cuboid or spherical, this hell? * And as if to confound me still more * As to what shape and dimension it is *The partition darkens *Tll there was no real horizon at all * I don't know who I am anymore * What will now happen to me? * I cannot now retrace my steps * Backtrack to my blank safety I found my father's gun... * A kick in my belly moves focus * A message from foetus in morse * But what can I do? *The cube has all I have now but dust! * My spirit as dark as this cage * My eyes close to confirm shape now sphere! * I collapse to the floor of this stage * Another vision : * A rose? A cradle? A coffin? 
				

Now, I know I am lost- My days are numbered, not powered * It seems that my actions are clear * Abdicating to fate at what cost? * The gun in one hand * My diary in the other. * I am writing the words from my head * There will be few more, eyes are closed * I feel free, now I have chosen; * The humanity in me near dead *Foetus : "...that still be me!!..." I am safe in this sphere * No pain in here... * With eyes tight shut * I can see, sixteen years ago * Mother being just like me! * Not alone anymore * Free from pain of the past * The suffering over * These thoughts in the mind of the last... * I follow orders, now I move to the light

* From which I had fled for so long * I follow his orders, ideas, sensations She : "to keep us always together..." * There is nothing of me. * Is there trial, judge and jury * Beyond the nowtemporal * I do not intend to stay here. 
				

Foetus speaking to her : * "Still trapped in here * This cocoon sphere I'm bathing in this liquid clear * Wait for her to have courage *To bring us together. * I do not want that life outside! *There are so many things to hide * From the shallow and the fickle * When you're alone mankind means nothing * Just like wind pushed through the trees, * The void is total, bears no pleas. * I want to stay inside warmday * I'm isolated far away -All is dark here inside * I'm being soothed by her heartbeat... Sometimes I speak my mind * In my thoughts her I find * She loves me, then I see *A dim light flickening in front of me * Glacial cold invades me, being eaten by the light * It's as if I'll cease to be, nothing else matters

*No will, no fight." * -end of transmission-foetus'heartbeats. 
				

No chance to return to the world where I was born * The moment has to be right-To move on into that dim light- I'm waiting forthe moment...

* No wish to fall back into cubes and powers! * My biological clock has a voice * It's seems that it holds my last choice. * It's time to reunite us.

* The barrel of the gun on this rounded womb * The spark of the life, inside me entombed * I write my last thought * Before I merge with this glimmer I sought * That lives only in my mind. * No turning away from the glean : It obsesses * In ghastly mime * I pull trigger first time * I'm waiting to be free * No anguish in me as I sprawl on the floor * I use my last breath to end it all. * I turn the gun towards my face * Please grant me some warmth; evergrace * She : "I I'm so sorry..." * forgive me... She : "jesus..." I don't have the choice anymore... * Forgive me, I'd rather die, remember me, goodbye...