Would you like to be amazing? Like you could take up the whole sky and cast a rainbow
Across the air with your hands! And you can’t keep up with just how overwhelmingly awesome
It would be to feel so fancy-free, unashamedly... and but unexpectedly...
Would you also want to be awful? Festering in a pit of despair, just fantasizing about getting
Terminally ill so you don’t have to deal with the shame of taking your own life? Hey, at least
You’ll die with dignity!
Okay...well wouldn’t you rather be somewhere in between?
Well if you’re asking me;
I don’t want to be amazing, and I don’t want to be awful. I don’t want to be awesome, no, nor
Do I want to be dismal
No, I just want to be, I really want to be, please just let me be
“Good”
				

A garage sale for the deceased? Yes it’s a thing! I went to one with my cousin Dake. You go
Inside the home of someone who died recently to buy their things. Maybe the family wants to
Rid their memories, or maybe it’s to cover funeral costs? Well, there I was inside this house
Just rummaging through random crap. A couple of things I found include a wig, and a painting
Of a dog that smokes a cigarette. But in the kitchen, see that’s where this thing I found was
That I want to tell you about
What first looked not like anything soon revealed themselves behind the tuna tins. Had I just
Found a cupboard of funnythings??
And so I called out to Dake, “You gotta see this!”. He came in all eager-faced
“What if you suddenly thought of everything that’s made you laugh, but all at once?”
He looked at me much like you would if someone told you something just as cooked as that
He said “yeah, I think it’s time for us to go now. Grab your things.”
“Oh no we’re not! We are not leaving here until you try this ‘Cupboard of Funnythings’”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?”
“Yes. That is the official name that I’m giving it. So, when the cupboard’s open wide, then I
Guess all the funnythings inside escape and nest behind your eyes. Does that sound nice?”
Dake opened it, then looked at me, then began to laugh maniacally! I held his face and said
“You see? Funnythings!!”
We sat there for most of the day taking turns, laughing away.... You know I’d laugh so hard I
Thought that I would crack in half and split my sides. I took a breath and looked over at Dake
And he was in a similar state. But it got hard to wait my turn in line. Dake was taking too much
Time and so we squabbled over who’s go it was. I said “You can’t be serious! Get out the way” I
Shoved him & as I did, Dake completely lost his shit. He snatched the door and accidentally
Coughed and the cupboard door just broke clean off. Our bodies shook from toe to top. Would
It re-attach? No, it would not! And the funnythings? They wouldn’t stop....
*musical representation of incessant, relentless funny thoughts*
And so we scrambled out of there. We left the house and ran away into a lane. We hopped
Some fences, tried to get back to my house as fast as we could go. The whole time, we were
Screaming, laughing, howling so damn much that I think I broke a rib. My neighbour was in his
Front yard hosing his driveway when he saw us running in. He said “Hey boys, you seem
Excited! Tell me, what you doing? Where you been?” We gasped and tried to say that we were
At the garage sale up on the other side of town. He said “Oh I heard the guy that lived there
Died. They found him with his throat all dried curled up at his cupboard I... I think that’s right.”
Will we die of funnythings?
Will someone cease the funnythings?
Endless, constant funnythings....
Funnythings
				

If there's a hole in your heart, stop digging
You've got a scab on your soul? Quit picking
It's as easy as that, and if you're feeling offtrack, just get back on track again
Look, you're a quite decent human being. There's just so much that you are not seeing
It's not hard to get, but you get so upset that your walls go up again

And this conversation is over
This conversation is done
This conversation is over

They're just emotions, they are not dictum
So enough with playing the goddamn victim
And despite your own view, hate to break it to you
But your feelings aren't correct

At one point you were an okay person
Why did you let your condition worsen?
And blame it on those that were there for you most
When you were at your lowest of your lows?

And this conversation is over
This conversation is dumb
This conversation is over

I never figured it to be the right kind of crazy
Can never tell when its depressed or when it's just lazy
I never feel like it's a thing that can be easily adjusted. Can I trust it to ignite me but not burn me to the ground?
I often wonder how much of it is even worth sharing
It's hard to gauge if it's invasive or if it's caring
And a decision such as that cannot be simply taken back, it's a thought, just a fleeting scrap. Keep it quiet, and keep it down
SIck of having these thoughts? Just stop 'em!
It's hard to tell what the hell's my problem
There's a million or 3 people worse off than me and they seem to manage fine
I should stop searching down dead end hallways
....wait, am I lecturing myself, just like always?

THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER
THIS CONVERSATION IS DONE
THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER
				

I fell asleep in a field filled with rocks and mushrooms
Yeah, not too classy but it was comfy and nice
When to my surprise -
I got woked up (but I felt quite refreshed, well rested)
Heard all these sounds that I can’t quite describe
But I guess I’ll try, it sounded like
Millions of Musketeers
Running and screaming wild
Millions of Musketeers
And sure enough, when I looked up at the horizon
A bunch of musketeer dust filled my eyes
And also, there was flies
What did I do? Well I ask what wh.. what would you do?
I put on my boots and I ran for my life
(one boot was still untied)
You think I’m perhaps exaggerating? I am not
I had a pretty good view, I was up on a rock
I even paused for a second and counted the lot
Millions of Musketeers running and screaming wild
Millions of Musketeers. Felt hats and sharp rapiers
Millions of Musketeers
*musical representation of millions of musketeers running really fast*
*musical representation of me valiantly trying to outrun the musketeers
*musical representation of me getting really tired because of how unfit I am*
Well I gave up. I can’t outrun a musketeer mob!
I put my hands up and just closed my eyes
And they frickin ran on by!
Yeah you heard right! They weren’t out in that field to get me
They just kept screaming even though they were nice
Yeah, they seemed fine
So yeah, take note if you sleep in peculiar places
You might get woked up by this odd sound and sight
But you’ll be alright, it’s just those guys
Millions of Musketeers - yet not a musket in sight....?
				

It came in through my kitchen window
Ominous and wispy, frozen-like
And I don’t know if it knew that I was watching
As it helped itself to all the food in sight
Gluttonously cramming things into its gullet
But it passed through my kitchen window there all right?
And I could hear its dragging chains across the floorboards
How were they not just falling through the other side?
How do ghosts work? Do they know of their matter inconsonance?
Do they know we’re there when they pass through us?
Are we helpless to their immortal stunts?
I think that I am decent
I feel that people think I’m good and nice
I strive to live respectfully and “normal”
And I stand up for myself when I know I’m right
WHY does this feeling that I’m awful flood my body?
Such haunting thoughts of shame and guilt.. But why?
If I swear to you I’ll try harder tomorrow
Will you spare me of these hellish taunts tonight?
How do ghosts work? Do they know the power they have over us?
Spinning days to weeks, yet years to months
Why bombard us with all these thoughts at once?
How do ghosts work? Do they know they lack consistency?
Do they think they’re not our enemy?
Or do they only go after men like me?
“It’s not me” it said. “You seem quite upset. Just try to forget
Oh” it said “I’m not anything. I’m not even here
It’s all you in there
It’s on you” it said
“It’s on you.”
“It’s all your fault.”
How do ghosts work?
				

Dan VS. egg. It’s not that hard to get
There’s Dan seated there with the egg at a 6-sided table (and the table’s not set)
Under the violent moon, I guess they’ll be starting soon
He writes me a note, it says “please enclose a Hanna-Barbera cartoon”
“Are you gonna fight it?”
“I don’t know”
Or is it more a mind thing? Keen to see where all this goes
A TV set inside plays “Hawaiian Eye”
I wish I could tell Dan good luck, but I fear that too much time has ticked by
We wear a face the same; a smile but deep in pain
For the chairs have a press-stud, but it always undoes
So we sit on the cold wire frame
“Are you gonna fight him?”
“I don’t know”
Or is it like a mind sting, wonder how this will go
“How you gonna find him?”
“I don’t know!”
Or is it more reminding, revealing, revolting?
“No.”
Oh! Dan is egg
This is how it goes
He leans in and rubs his finger back and forth under his nose
The end
(dan is also egg)
				

Oh, indeed! Let’s bring this back to speed
A field we see, the usual shrubs and trees
A subtle breeze... look, just everything you need
And on the road we see someone you know
You remember, no? From a previous episode
Why, it’s Malcolm going on his way to home
He passes by a river wide a shimmering light catches his sight. And so he dives in and
Surprise! He sees our guy, and he recognizes the stony giant. He might, or it kinda reminds him
Of that giant bride. He waves a “hi”, and with big jewel eyes it sighs -
“Hello and welcome to my home here in the water. It’s so exciting, it’s exactly what I wanta
You see I travelled far to discover what I are...” and Malcolm laughed and corrected his
Grammar. Then he thought and said “ahh! I might be your father
My giant girlfriend was out every damn weekend. And I remember when, her eggs.. I dusted
Them. So yeah, no amends, I put it to an end.”
But he looked in awe at his crusty claw and its beastly jaw and the bear-like paws, and the
Stony warts and whatever more.. It was nothing like he’d seen before. ‘Cept his bride (the
Whore) and his mind it thought of all the sorts of guys she saw. And he stopped and paused
And chose to ignore it all... and said
“I always dreamt that I might have a son or daughter. Now you can live out in my house of
Brick and mortar.”
“But I’ve been happy living down here in the water. It’s so enticing, it’s precisely what I’m
After/orfter
“Oh! No you should come with me. Obey your father’s orders
You will move in at once into my living quarters.”
“AAAWWW but I was happy living deep down in the water
And it hurts to walk up there now that I’m made of boulder.”
				

You see that hot girl over there, with a good face and quite nice hair?
See how you cannot help but stare?
Yeah THAT is fikkis
Or thumbing through a pamphlet when you spot an item that’s worth $10, but all your money
You want to spend on THAT fikkis
Stop looking at me like you don’t know
You idiot! Ooohh you don’t see what’s going on?
It’s okay to feel good about something
Surrender yourself because
It’s so fikkis!!
You might be heading into town
You see that good arcade burnt down
You know that thing that makes you frown?
Yeah THAT’S fikkis
Or when you sit quietly in a hall
And you wish your Mum would call
And you don’t feel anything at all?
*nods head* fikkis
Surprise! Hey, it’s your birthday!
I can’t help but notice no-one bothered to show up
But I made you a cake that’s delicious
You can eat it till your trauma is numb!
Yeah! It’s so fikkis!
I sympathise it’s problematic when all your thoughts are automatic
You think you can control your emotional responses
But it’s okay to be ecstatic, and even be a tad emphatic
Just use the power of fikkis, for it is your compass
Surrender your mind, succumb to the power of the fikkis
Far beyond the treetops and mountains
But tinier than the funnythings behind your eyes
Hey, there’s that feeling that something is happening
Toes start a tappening
Feel it in your body and your stupid feeble brain when you s-s-sing
It’s so fikkis
Fikkis
And kikkis